The Merry season has come to a close. We have enjoyed the families, opened gifts, seen our friends. Now, back to the real world.
I can't tell you enough how much friends and family have meant to me since Pat's passing, especially during this holiday season. Phone calls, texts, an e-mail here and there have been so important. I have had and been invited to more lunches and dinner with friends, than I ever had. Everyone is so caring and also loves talking about my love.
The Saturday after Christmas, I threw a Holiday Open House. I had decorated the way Pat and I always had, and wanted others to enjoy it, plus I thought it would be good to get a lot of Pat's friends, along with mine, together to celebrate Pat's life.
It was crazy, but it was exactly what I had hoped for. Many different groups of Pat's friends, as well as individuals she had become close with, came by for a wonderful evening. Friends that have known Pat since first grade to those who had just met Pat within the last year, but once Pat took you in as a friend, it was forever. (Apologize to those I couldn't invite, my home is only so big. I'll likely do it again next year.)
My life long friends were the last to leave, exactly how I had expected. My sister Amy did unbelievably well helping me with this wonderful event. I also acquired, at least, three and a half cases of beer brought from people. Guinness, Hofbrau, craft beer...so much! It was appreciated.
But eventually, everyone left.
The sadness and loneliness of being alone for the first time in forty-one years is something I don't wish on anyone. I can now truly understand how people shut down when they lose a loved one.
Pat never wanted that for me. She had prepped me for her passing. We discussed how to move forward. She sat me down one night in the rehab facility and explained banking and finances to me. That wasn't easy. She also told me I needed to stay in touch with all her friends and sent me on a hunt for the many gift cards friends and family had given us over the last five years since her battle with cancer started. Found more than $2300 in gift cards for restaurants and stores between the house and condo. She always said we would get to them after she got better.
Still dealing with medical bills incorrectly submitted by the hospital and the sale of our condo, better known as "Pat's Happy Place".
Cleaning the house and gathering things to be thrown out and also donated is next on my list. I opened a drawer to clean out in our bedroom today and realized Freddie Mercury, (Queen) and Steven Tyler, (Aerosmith) would have a great time with all of the scarves she had. I stopped counting after fifty, with many more to go through.
It is going to be a long, tough process, most of which I need to do myself. Once everything gets organized I will invite Pat's friends to see if there are things they would like. Pat was a great shopper and has many really nice things that people may want before they get donated.
The thought of being without Pat for the rest of my life is daunting. Everywhere I look, I see something she bought or decorated.
Songs and music have helped. Some that she loved, others that are about loss and I have cried to.
Chris Young has a song called "Drowning" which says;
I can't help that all I think about is
How you were taken way too soon
It's ain't the same here without you
I gotta say missin' you comes in waves
and tonight I'm Drowning
Television has also been interesting, with a show on CBS called "The Unicorn" and a Netflix show with Ricky Gervais called "After Life". Both shows focus on how a husband deals with the loss of his wife to cancer, both VERY different, but very entertaining.
As the year goes on, I have many things to look forward to. My yearly trip to Peoria with my buddies for the Boys State HS basketball tourney. Attending graduation for my niece, Pat's goddaughter, Katie, from UW-Platteville. The White Sox! The Chicago Fire at Soldier Field, (I actually bought season tickets for the first time ever, for any team.) Chicago and Rick Springfield with my sister and my goddaughter.
I will always make time to talk about Pat, be it with her friends, my friends, her co-workers. Her life will go on with the millions of memories she left us. Some people are hesitant to "bother" me or "checkup" on me. DON'T be. You all keep me going. Love you all. Thanks!
I can't tell you enough how much friends and family have meant to me since Pat's passing, especially during this holiday season. Phone calls, texts, an e-mail here and there have been so important. I have had and been invited to more lunches and dinner with friends, than I ever had. Everyone is so caring and also loves talking about my love.
The Saturday after Christmas, I threw a Holiday Open House. I had decorated the way Pat and I always had, and wanted others to enjoy it, plus I thought it would be good to get a lot of Pat's friends, along with mine, together to celebrate Pat's life.
It was crazy, but it was exactly what I had hoped for. Many different groups of Pat's friends, as well as individuals she had become close with, came by for a wonderful evening. Friends that have known Pat since first grade to those who had just met Pat within the last year, but once Pat took you in as a friend, it was forever. (Apologize to those I couldn't invite, my home is only so big. I'll likely do it again next year.)
My life long friends were the last to leave, exactly how I had expected. My sister Amy did unbelievably well helping me with this wonderful event. I also acquired, at least, three and a half cases of beer brought from people. Guinness, Hofbrau, craft beer...so much! It was appreciated.
But eventually, everyone left.
The sadness and loneliness of being alone for the first time in forty-one years is something I don't wish on anyone. I can now truly understand how people shut down when they lose a loved one.
Pat never wanted that for me. She had prepped me for her passing. We discussed how to move forward. She sat me down one night in the rehab facility and explained banking and finances to me. That wasn't easy. She also told me I needed to stay in touch with all her friends and sent me on a hunt for the many gift cards friends and family had given us over the last five years since her battle with cancer started. Found more than $2300 in gift cards for restaurants and stores between the house and condo. She always said we would get to them after she got better.
Still dealing with medical bills incorrectly submitted by the hospital and the sale of our condo, better known as "Pat's Happy Place".
Cleaning the house and gathering things to be thrown out and also donated is next on my list. I opened a drawer to clean out in our bedroom today and realized Freddie Mercury, (Queen) and Steven Tyler, (Aerosmith) would have a great time with all of the scarves she had. I stopped counting after fifty, with many more to go through.
It is going to be a long, tough process, most of which I need to do myself. Once everything gets organized I will invite Pat's friends to see if there are things they would like. Pat was a great shopper and has many really nice things that people may want before they get donated.
The thought of being without Pat for the rest of my life is daunting. Everywhere I look, I see something she bought or decorated.
Songs and music have helped. Some that she loved, others that are about loss and I have cried to.
Chris Young has a song called "Drowning" which says;
I can't help that all I think about is
How you were taken way too soon
It's ain't the same here without you
I gotta say missin' you comes in waves
and tonight I'm Drowning
Television has also been interesting, with a show on CBS called "The Unicorn" and a Netflix show with Ricky Gervais called "After Life". Both shows focus on how a husband deals with the loss of his wife to cancer, both VERY different, but very entertaining.
As the year goes on, I have many things to look forward to. My yearly trip to Peoria with my buddies for the Boys State HS basketball tourney. Attending graduation for my niece, Pat's goddaughter, Katie, from UW-Platteville. The White Sox! The Chicago Fire at Soldier Field, (I actually bought season tickets for the first time ever, for any team.) Chicago and Rick Springfield with my sister and my goddaughter.
I will always make time to talk about Pat, be it with her friends, my friends, her co-workers. Her life will go on with the millions of memories she left us. Some people are hesitant to "bother" me or "checkup" on me. DON'T be. You all keep me going. Love you all. Thanks!
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