She Sure Did Try

Writing a blog after several beers is always a great idea...said nobody!

Time keeps going and with it, I keep reliving the final year of Pat's life. Ovarian Cancer was first diagnosed in 2014, she went into remission for 26 months and the damn thing came back with a vengence.

Last year, while struggling with a problem with chylus ascities, Pat and I made the trip to University of Pennsylvania and saw the TOP EXPERT in the Chyle field to try and figure out what the problem was and how to fix it. I don't want to say it was a wasted trip, but the top guy in the country, who expected to find the chyle leak that had led to Pat having to have 50 paracentisis, (abdomen drained to remove chyle), couldn't find it. He suggested a Denver shunt, which allows the patient to pump the chyle out of their abdomen and through their system, where it is supposed to go. Another procedure to try and make everything more tolerable.

Pat had the shunt put in and after a few days in Philadelphia, we made the trip,(torturous from what she texted to her friends), back home. Instead of stopping, Pat's driver, ME, decided I would drive straight through.  Fourteen hours to get home so that we didn't have to spend another night in a strange place.

We both worked on pumping the shunt and moving the milky fluid through the tubes and into her system.

Just days after arriving home, she felt something wasn't right and after all she had been through, she would know.

We went to the ER, had an x-ray and what do you know, the tubing from the shunt had moved and would have to be re-placed. WTF!

In the end, this was just one of the many difficulties my lovely, strong wife had to deal with in the final year of her life. She couldn't catch a break! (She eventually broke her hip in July as the cancer had progressed to the bone, something it did just 1% of the time with Ovarian Cancer).

The above picture is from the day we went to the ER and saw that the tubing had moved, June 20, 2019.

I decided to put out a blog today because it is June 20, 2020.

Pat was a wonderful person, friend, aunt and godmother. We have sixteen nieces and nephews and five goddaughters between us. She has three. Meghan, (her college roommate’s daughter), Katie, (her sister's daughter) and Iris, (daughter of our good friends, Steve and Carol).

What are the odds that two of her three goddaughters share the same birthday, June 20.

Meghan is the daughter of Pat's college roommate, Sue. When going through Pat's things since her passing, I can not tell you how many cards I have found from Meghan to her Godmother. Pat was so proud of Meg and thrilled when she found the right guy in her now husband Kenny. They had their first child, Benny, last year and Pat was over the top excited. Meghan would send Pat videos of Benny, as mothers love to do, and Pat would show every nurse and helper at the hospital and rehab facility while she was battling her illness. Many times, nurses would come in asking if there was a child in the room and it was just Pat watching one of the Benny videos. She LOVED them!

Katie is a sweetie. She and Pat loved their shopping excursions anytime Katie came to town. She lives in Wisconsin Dells. Pat couldn't have been more proud of Katie. She is passionate about the world. She studied Ecology and Biology in college and will now go to Grad school to continue her learning. On Pat's final day, Katie heard things were not going well. Katie jumped in her Jeep and drove from Platteville to Hinsdale Hospital to see Aunt Pat. Neither of us will ever forget that. (Do tears come more easily after a few beers? Asking for a friend.)

Thanks for reading my ramblings as I continue to "move forward" after the loss of my one and only. Pat touched so many and was such a special person, sometimes people that didn't know her probably can't believe it, but would I lie?

She was definitely my better half. Without her, I will never be whole again, but I know she wouldn't want me to wallow in grief forever.

Thank God for all the memories she left behind.

(I fixed an earlier mistake where I mentioned Brittany. She is not one of Pat’s goddaughters, but our niece who we love so much. I started the blog saying I had a few beers. Apologies!)